Creating Your Life by Taking 100% Responsibility
by Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.

One of the most empowering things you can do to improve your life is to take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and actions. This gives you power. When you take 100% responsibility, this puts you at the helm of your ship as you navigate the waters of your life.

Empower yourself! Taking 100% responsibility for your life means not making excuses for why your life is other than how you want it to be. It is easy to make excuses. There is always someone or something to blame when you do not meet your own expectations or those of others around you. You can always blame your mother, your kids, boss, the weather, the fact that you are “too busy,” or that things “never go your way and so why should they now?” Justifying why you don’t have what you want or why you are not where you want to be by now does not make a difference. Nor do you need to be hard on yourself and beat yourself up. The why really does not matter. As long as you are blaming and making excuses you are giving away your power to a source or circumstances beyond your control. And if you allow something to have power over your life you are in the place of being a victim. Falling into the roll of victim is a dead-end street. It gets you no where.

To take back responsibility for your life and your power, experiment with eliminating judging, complaining, and needing to know why. Watch what you say and think. Any statement that you make beginning with “They should. . . ,” “Why can’t I . . . ?” “I hate it when. . .” Is a waste of your time and energy. It doesn’t matter why or what you think they should do. It is what it is. They are who they are. Maybe you don’t like that policy at the bank which you believe is such a nuisance, and maybe you would prefer talking to a live person when you call1-800-Customer Service. However, wishing something to be other than it is doesn’t make a situation better and fussing about something won’t change it.

You are where you are. Life is what it is. Don’t wait around for life to change before you decide to feel better and be successful. Accept where you are and where you want to go. The only question is, “Do you want to kept things the way there are in your life? Do you like the way things are now? If not, do something about it. Take 100% responsibility and don’t wait for others or circumstances to change.

It is empowering is to take stock of where you are currently. Today you are the sum of all of your past decisions. Furthermore, what you do today is currently creating your tomorrow:
• What you eat is fuel for your body and contributes to your level of health.
• The amount of sleep that you get contributes to your mood and energy.
• The amount of money you saved and spent last year contributes to how much money
you currently have.
• Your level of education, the jobs you took or didn’t take, the ‘thank you’ you didn’t say all mold the flow of your life.
• Your thoughts also contribute energetically to what you have attracted up to this point and to what is still coming down the pipeline toward you.

The first step is to change your attitude toward the matter at hand and decide how you are going to effectively respond to your life. Questions to ask yourself might be, “What is working in my life? How is this happening? How can I do more of this to increase this positive area of my life? If, for example, you have a great circle of friends, look at how you are nurturing your friendships. If your business is not as successful as you would like it to be, start to visualize what it would feel and look like if your business were successful. Look to others who are successful in the area you want to improve and learn from what they are doing.

There are lots of resources for turning your life toward greater success, if you utilize them. As soon as you say, “I am going to do this, no matter what,” you take back your power. In blaming and complaining you perpetuate the thoughts and patterns that helped you to become stuck in the first place. What you say yes to you attract more of into your life.

Begin today by deciding to complain less and appreciate more. Look for what you like and want more of and seek ways to move yourself in that direction. Want more love in your life? See who you can smile at or hug today. Want more money? Whom can you call to share your business opportunity? Look for what is working in your life and celebrate this. Take 100% responsibility for your life and watch how it improves.

© 2007 Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.