There are many reasons that people seek mental health counseling in Asheville, NC (or in any other city for that matter.) Many people seek depression treatment or anxiety treatment. Others seek counseling for stress management or counseling for agoraphobia. Yet is that enough?

Imagine a scale from -5 to +5. If, when people are experiencing depression, anxiety, stress, etc. they are in the negative numbers, when they get rid of depression or get rid of anxiety, they move up the scale to “0”.

It is great to be depression free or free of anxiety, but is it enough to be at “O?” What about experiencing positive emotions that occur in as people move up toward “+5?” This is where Positive Psychology research and treatment focuses. Positive Psychology helps individuals to increase their well-being, quality of life and happiness.

One Positive Psychology technique is to savor enjoyable, positive experiences. This can be as simple as having a cup of tea, taking a shower, or enjoying an evening stroll. Savoring an experiencing by noticing everything that is delightful about an experience, prolongs enhances the pleasure of participating in that experience.

So enjoy, savor an experience or two today and notice how you feel. You may find that you creep up into those positive emotions more easily that you would have expected.

If you enjoy savoring, there are several other Positive Psychology techniques you may enjoy.
Feel free to contact me and I can help you with your specific needs.

Yours in well-being,
Deborah
http://www.deborahbarnett.com/

Positive Psychology Tips can help Overthinking and Judging

We have all heard the expression “don’t be judgmental.” Yet the reality is judging, overanalyzing and overthinking is very difficult not to do. The media prompts us to judge all the time “Try our product; we are better than those guys.” The news is constantly highlighting who did what that was “bad” – e.g. this guy stole money from his investors – and who is doing well “this 23 year old made millions by selling his new software idea.” When we hear these statements it is easy to think to ourselves, “I am doing better than that guy, or I wish I was more successful like him.”

Social comparison, comparing ourselves to others, in only a very few instances is beneficial. One case might be if you are inspired by seeing a lovely painting and you decide to begin painting so that you can develop your artistic ability.

However, most of the time comparing yourself to someone else and judging yourself as “less than” (e.g. she’s is more beautiful than me, or he makes more money than I make), may make you feel inferior. Judging yourself as “better off” than someone (e.g. he lost his job – thank goodness I haven’t) can leave you feeling fearful or guilty.

Positive Psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky conducted social comparison studies of happy and unhappy people. In the studies participants were placed side by side in a high pressure problem solving situation and the participants were made aware of how they were doing in relation to the other participant next to them. Interestingly enough, happy people felt more upbeat after the task, and felt good about themselves, regardless of whether or not the participant next to them had out-performed them. Unhappy people, on the other hand, were very conscious of their performance in comparison the participant next to them and reported feeling sad, frustrated and anxious if the participant next to them had outperformed them.

Dr. Lyubormirsky suggests in her book The How of Happiness, that social comparison is a part of the habit of overthinking. Dr. Lyubormirsky and her colleague Susan Nolen-Hoeksema suggest the following strategies for overthinking and comparing:

1. Cut Loose of overthinking:
          Distract yourself by doing an activity that will catch and hold your attention.
          Tell yourself, “stop!”
          Talk to a friend or write out whatever is bothering you.

2. Take action by taking small steps to complete a task that may be bothering you.

3. Avoid situations that may prompt over thinking.

4. Put things into perspective and see the “big picture.” Ask yourself, “Will this worry, situation, person, etc. be a problem a year from now?”

I hope that these tips to avoid social comparison and overthinking have been helpful for you.

For support in increasing your happiness and well-being in your personal and professional life, I am available for phone coaching sessions during which I can give you suggestions tailored to your specific situation and needs.

Here’s to your well-being and success!
Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.

Increase your well-being with Dr. Deb

Hello Welcome to my Blog!

In this blog I will share tips you can utilize to enhance your life and experience more joy and success.  Topics will include ways to increase happiness, ease stress and anxiety, decrease depression,  improve your relationship with your spouse or partner,  and interact more effectively with family, friends and coworkers.

I offer phone consulting and coaching to individuals and groups. For those who live in, or are visiting Western North Carolina, I offer in-person psychotherapy sessions in Asheville, North Carolina. With my degree in Transpersonal psychology and positive psychology orientation, I focus on assisting individuals in identifying their strenghts, thus allowing them to experience personal empowerment, greater optimism and increased well-being.

Please feel free to leave any questions you have in the comments section of this blog and I will be happy to answer them or point you toward resources that may be beneficial for you.

Deborah Barnett, Ph.D.
Positive Psychology in Asheville, NC
Phone Coaching for Personal Growth and Relationship Success
www.DeborahBarnett.com